Let me share my story. I'm Christopher Neil Maclurcan, a 29-year-old Australian setting off on a global hiking expedition this year. From a young age, I yearned for adventure, driven by the awareness of life's brevity. My path meandered through various lifestyles, always in search of the right fit. Yet, settling down seemed elusive, and chaos felt like my comfort zone. 

Throughout my life, I've explored the world on several expeditions, which led me to where I am today and helped formulate my future mission. The first of which was being invited to join one of my friends, Hamish, on a trip around Australia. This journey was a major eye-opening experience in my life, and I have so much appreciation for the invitation, understanding how it changed the trajectory of my life. It opened my eyes to the joy of exploring the unknown reaches of our planet, connecting with nature and others from around the world. 

It was not long after that I decided that I wanted to go on a journey around the world and came up with the idea to try and circumnavigate the globe on my motorbike. After spending about a year doing that, traveling around Australia, off on my grand adventure, meeting so many incredible people, and having a blast, COVID hit just as I was planning to head to Africa. So instead, I built a camper van and decided to do another lap of the country with my girlfriend at the time. 

It was on this trip I would be presented with the idea of some psychological issues that I might be struggling with, the first was brought up by my ex, who is a psychologist. She confronted me about my underlying motivations and probing into the roots of my restlessness, asking if my constant need to be on the move was because I was running away from something. This triggered flashbacks to numerous times where I would become overwhelmed when I wasn’t keeping busy. A specific instance of this was during my motorbike journey. Where I was trapped between floodwaters for multiple days with no social interaction, this was an ordeal for me that was extremely challenging being forced to sit with my emotions, something I had always struggled to do. This idea caused a lot of distress due to it conflicting with what I had planned for the rest of my life. But mainly because I didn’t truthfully have an answer. 

Another issue was presented when a close friend, Adam, brought attachment theory to my attention. After undergoing a few tests, it became evident that I likely had a disorganized attachment style, leaning towards anxious tendencies. These revelations, coupled with my attempts at self-diagnosis, were distressing and compounded the anxiety I was already feeling, as I recognized numerous connections, and deeper psychological issues at play.  

After my ex and I completed our journey in the camper van, we decided to settle in Perth, Western Australia, with the intention of me teaching her how to ride a motorbike for our future travels. However, during this period of stability, my life took an unexpected turn for the worse as my past traumas really began to flare up and started overwhelming me. I was freaking out internally in what seemed like and should have been a comfortable environment. Unfortunately, my coping mechanisms had prevented me from addressing these issues before they started to wreak havoc on my well-being. 

I developed severe anxiety during this period, affecting both my mental and physical health. Subconsciously, I started destroying things around me, most notably my relationships with some of my closest friends, as well as my girlfriend. These destructive patterns ultimately led to our separation and sent me into a severe downward spiral, facing depression deep enough that I became suicidal, thinking that would be the only way to relieve the pain I was feeling. It was a vicious cycle of thoughts; I couldn’t cope with the pain I had inflicted on those who meant the world to me. I was looking for an escape, but also knowing that taking this route would lead to more pain for the ones that care about me. It left me stuck, tearing myself apart internally, not knowing what to do. This was all exacerbated by going to therapy and trying to research what and why this was happening, realizing the depth of my torment. 

So, what have I learned about myself? I learned that I'm a highly sensitive person, which left me more vulnerable to experiencing complex developmental trauma. Starting off when I was about nine years old, my two closest friends moved away, and I believe this was the catalyst which formed my abandonment issues. After that, I moved around a fair bit, so I never formed the most stable base to be able to resolve this underlying issue. 

A few years later, my household became quite a chaotic place with several conflicts arising, creating what felt like a hostile environment. Unfortunately, I was too young to understand the nuance of what was going on and dissociate from it entirely. As a result, I never felt comfortable expressing my own emotions in fear of adding fuel to the fire. I felt like my parents were unpredictable and inconsistent, a source of safety and a source of fear at the same time. As a child, I felt I could not rely on them to meet my emotional needs and, therefore, became hyper-independent, taking over the role of the emotional caretaker. This is why I easily help others and yet struggle to ask for help for myself. 

So, this is where my need to constantly be on the move originally came from. I didn’t feel like I could rely on those around me for help, especially regarding my emotions due to fear that expressing about such matters would lead to more abandonment. But I also wasn’t a good emotional caretaker for myself simply due to my lack of knowledge of such matters; this would constantly lead me to becoming super uncomfortable whenever I wasn’t doing something to distract me and stop these feelings from coming to the surface. 

Figuring out how much of a mess I was internally at a time when I was already grieving, the loss of some of my close friends and partner was quite catastrophic. To this day I’m still trying to forgive myself for the lack of control I had over my actions. They occurred due to my subconscious coping mechanisms which were formed not of my own doing. But I still take accountability for them, as they were my actions nonetheless. I just wish I was more emotionally mature and had a better understanding of what was going on before it led to hurting others. The life that I had built was like a castle made of cards with several precious gems inside. Although I thought it was grand, I couldn’t see how fragile it was until it all came crashing down, and I was left picking up these pieces. On my darkest night when I had lost almost all hope in healing and finding a purpose, I stumbled upon an article about Tom Turcich, a man who set off from his American hometown on a journey to walk around the world. He sought to maximize his time on earth through exploring, embracing adventure, while gaining a deeper understanding of the world. I initially felt envious of Tom, the thought of someone else having accomplished a goal like this, which I had been dreaming of. But slowly I felt almost a warm blanket of emotions start to come over and soothe my restlessness. Feelings of admiration, enthusiasm, and eagerness started to come over me, and I felt hopeful knowing that there was nothing stopping me from achieving a similar goal. In this moment, the feeling built to a point of euphoria—I was inspired. It was in this moment that I thought, “You know what, that sounds just crazy enough to be exactly what I need to do.” So, I latched onto this plan with both hands. Using the motivation to start my own journey to pull myself out of the rut I was in. I knew that a journey like this would do so much for me. It would allow me to see and explore the world, which I realized was still something I was passionate about. 

This has honestly been one of the best and worst experiences of my life. It was only by hitting rock bottom was I able to learn so much about myself and start to rebuild with more solid foundations. Now I strive and feel it's a duty I owe to those I hurt to make sure it never happens again. I have found a purpose and a goal I am striving towards. Simultaneously, I've been able to start building new relationships and repairing some of my old ones in a healthier manner, armed with a greater understanding of myself. 

The combination of traditional and self-therapy played a crucial role in unravelling the roots of my emotional challenges and abandonment issues. I slowly began to piece together the traumas from my past and understand how they contributed to the formation of the demons I grappled with. It equipped me with the ability to recognize patterns within my emotions and behaviours, particularly in relationships. Learning to allow myself to feel, express, and openly talk about my emotions became a pivotal breakthrough. It enabled me to become aware of my unhealthy habits and understand that the old coping mechanisms I had formed were no longer necessary—I had the capacity to move beyond them. Therapy also brought to light triggers that evoked strong emotional responses, providing me with the tools to reduce their impact. 

Embarking on a journey around the world emerged as a solution to the myriad challenges I confronted. This grand adventure held the promise of fulfilling my long-standing desire to explore the world while forcing me to slow down, preventing escapism from my emotions. The prospect of extended periods of solitude during the journey offered a unique opportunity to engage introspectively, fostering self-discovery. This envisioned journey, however, transcended beyond a mere physical exploration; I recognized the need to address deeper issues such as purpose anxiety.  

Understanding that helping others could be the antidote. I thought of ways to make a positive impact in the wake of where I went, no matter how small it was in the grand scheme I wanted a way to accomplish more on this journey. Not in search of fame or glory but something I could feel proud of. I considered fundraising for charity as a means to contribute positively to the world while also addressing my personal growth and well-being. However, I found myself lacking the desired connection to this idea. I was never one who felt comfortable donating to charities, feeling like my contribution isn’t really having much of an impact. Due to many being overshadowed by corruption, not knowing the real effect my donation would have or if it would just be swallowed up by the overheads of such large organizations. 

It was through discussion with a good friend I realized I needed something more tangible. Inspired by the desire to reciprocate the kindness extended to me we devised the plan to launch my own NGO. Its purpose would be to generate funds to assist those who have demonstrated kindness or support in various capacities. What I have learnt from my previous travels is that some of the most generous and helpful people in the world are those who have little or nothing to give themselves. I know on my journey I’ll be exposed to this kind of generosity again. So, I want to use the funds I raise to directly help these people. Maybe install a solar system and help give a family access to water through a pump and a few filters, install some lighting, or a fan to extract smoke if they are still cooking on an internal fire. Help someone build a home or an extension, a greenhouse with a few plants to help people access food. These are the kinds of projects I want to be a part of. 

I know there are already a lot of NGOs out there which are doing incredible things around the world. But I believe my project will negate the issues I was facing in choosing a charity, and I hope it might do the same for others. Being a one-man team, I won't have many overheads; my biggest expenses will be food and visas. This means that most of the donations will go directly to the cause. I will also be using social media for documentation of what I'm doing thus allowing people to see exactly what impact their donation is having. This Idea would even serve as another source of inspiration and motivation for myself.  

As I embark on Phase Two of my journey and the creation of my own NGO the question then arises ‘how I plan to utilize social media as a tool for both marketing and building a supportive community, as well as maintaining transparency for donors.’ 

Transparency, for me, is not just a commitment but a natural outcome of keeping donors connected with the journey's progress, my online presence will play a crucial role. It provides an easily accessible window into the ongoing narrative of this adventure. I plan to utilize these platforms to inform the community about incoming and outgoing funds, ensuring that every donor can see exactly how their contribution is making a difference. 

I'm not fixed on a specific social media platform. I understand the dynamic nature of online engagement, so I intend to try a few platforms and see what resonates the most. What I am certain about is that my story and mission are compelling and interesting enough to generate further interest and form an active community. 

I believe in the power of storytelling, and I'm confident that I can create compelling and engaging content that goes beyond just documenting my journey. I envision social media as a platform for sharing the milestones and achievements not only of my travels but also of those who become part of this initiative. The community will serve as a space for interaction and mutual support. It's about sharing the highs and lows, the challenges and victories, creating a genuine connection between the donors and the impact they are making on the ground. This open communication is vital, not only for maintaining trust but for fostering a sense of shared purpose among everyone involved in this journey. 

If everything goes according to plan with the first two steps – the hike and the construction projects – then the next part of my plan, Phase Three, will involve inviting individuals who are struggling with depression or suicidal tendencies to join me either on the hike, to participate in construction projects, or both. Building a community where members feel comfortable to reach out and become potential participants. By sharing my own journey openly, I aim to break the stigma surrounding mental health issues and create a supportive place for everyone. Where long-lasting friendships and bonds can form among participants, acting as a support network for each other’s healing journey. Shared experiences will contribute to the overall well-being of everyone involved, and hopefully inspire others to seek help. Additionally, I plan to connect with suicidal prevention groups to identify other suitable candidates and to collaborate on this initiative. 

There are several organizations that raise funds and awareness through campaigns emphasizing the benefits of an active lifestyle and the improvements it has on mental health. I believe that the goals of these charities and my own project fit so beautifully together that a partnership would be beneficial on both sides. 

To provide support and safety during the journey. I will be leveraging my experience in emergency situations in remote areas, gained through work as a tour guide and personal travels. I am also considering enrolling in courses related to counseling and coaching. As quite an autodidact I plan to continue to enhance my knowledge of the human psyche through various means of research. Completing traditional studies in psychology would be challenging for me as I don’t cope well with this style of leaning. However, acquiring skills through other means will still enable me to better assist those in need. Alternatively, I may invite experts or establish regular check-ins with industry professionals to ensure comprehensive support and establish contingency plans. 

And regarding working on the construction projects, assistance will be required in various areas, and participation will be adapted to everyone's skills and abilities. The goal is to foster a collaborative environment where participants can contribute based on their strengths. 

There won't be a high level of scrutiny when it comes to finding candidates beyond general back and forth casual communication to see if we might get along and just making sure they are aware of what they are getting themselves into. But honestly anyone who feels like participating could help their mental health is more than welcome to come along. The more the merrier. 

As Phase Three approaches fruition, I don't envision myself as someone who can negate all possible problems before they arise. Mistakes will undoubtedly be made along the way. However, my primary role is to be a friend, a fellow traveler who brings a unique blend of knowledge about both navigating the world and understanding mental health. 

I don't claim to have all the answers, but I am here to offer a listening ear, to be a companion who has experienced the highs and lows of both globetrotting and the intricacies of mental health struggles. My goal is to connect with people, to foster an environment where individuals feel comfortable turning to me if they wish to talk about anything, no matter how big or small. 

In the midst of this grand adventure, I aim to create a supportive community where shared experiences become a source of strength. While I may not have a solution for every problem, I believe in the power of genuine human connection and the healing it can bring. So, as I hike around the world, my role as a mental health supporter will intertwine with my identity as a traveler, making this journey a shared exploration of both the external and internal landscapes. 

My mission is clear: to help, one step at a time.